Laundromat
Wasted the night before,
I’d screwed the chance
to do my dirty laundry.
Doobie ashes on the floor
Discretion cracked open,
my values in a quandary.
“Don’t do strangers,”
was always my creed,
but he’d been on my couch
‘cause he possessed dangers
highlighting my need…
Granite jaw, killer slouch.
Now, in desperation,
I’m at the Rinse ‘n’ Spin
‘til cleansed, my clothes are done.
Cheap soil eradication
but it won’t remove sin…
A revolution! Fridays are fun!
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For the Sunday Whirl, with thanks to Brenda; Wordle words are in bold. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. Strangers were never in my romantic repertoire! Amy
Deborah
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 am
You painted that scene brilliatly!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 4:54 am
Thank you, Deborah. Just saw yours as well, very inventive use – this Wordle was a challenge (Granite, especially) and made a lot of us work hard! Amy
Deborah
August 22, 2011 at 5:42 am
brilliantly! :o)
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 4:55 am
Awwwww… whatever! I got what you meant!! 😉 Amy
vivinfrance
August 22, 2011 at 6:51 am
Wow! What a wordle – the scene is so vivid. I wish I hadn.t read this before writing my own wordle, as now I am totally inhibited!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 4:57 am
I try not to read the Wordle poems (or the 3WW) of other folks before I do mine, either. It is intimidating, but once you stare at them long enough, they’ll dance to your tune, I know it. Thanks, Viv! Amy
kaykuala
August 22, 2011 at 7:47 am
There are choices but depending on the person. One pursues one’s wants at the expense of something or the other. You’ve very well mentioned the choices open here. Beautiful poem!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 5:16 am
Ah, yes, it’s that darned “free will” thing that comes with being human. Obviously, this is not “me,” but it’s a lot of folks I know. And I suppose at one time, it could have been me. Thanks so much for the compliment, Hank! Peace and clean laundry, Amy
brenda w
August 22, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I get the impression that someone is kidding themselves….washing off the dirt but really wanting more… Whoever she is, I hope she stays safe. Do you ever wonder how you made it over 40 with your misspent youth….I do. 😉 Thanks for wordling Amy…there is darkness in this piece….darkness and truth. You managed to present it with the devil may care attitude that can cover the decisions of youth. Brava!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 5:40 am
Wow, Bren, this comment should be in my Hall of Fame! Yes, it actually could have been me in my 20s, I guess. I’m amazed I’m in one piece at 54, but my life really didn’t begin until 32, when I gave birth to Riley. I grew up really fast.
Thanks, as always, for the Wordle. You’re doing a wonderful job keeping us on our toes! Peace, Amy
Inside the Mind of Isadora
August 22, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I love how well you did this. The subject is pretty racy. Enjoyed it very much.
Namaste,
Isadora
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Yeah, have a lot of history from which to pick and choose, but the Wordle called out first, “laundromat.” The story that followed was a complete surprise to me, too!! Thanks, Izzy. Peace, Amy
Nanka
August 22, 2011 at 3:45 pm
The wordle words would never have taken me to a laundromat and you have spun a wonderful yarn. You are so creative and your imagination is so out of the box!! Liked your work of fiction!!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Thank you, Nanka. Yes, the laundromat came from “spin.” The rest of it? From the air between my ears! Appreciate you stopping by, hon… Peace, Amy
woih
August 22, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Your writings are always so…..unique…and fresh.
Seems like I’ve been in this story many times myself.
Hope your doing well and deep in the heart.
Dennis
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Dennis, lovely comment, thank you. I started with the laundromat and somehow ended up enmeshed in a one-night stand… who knew? I, too, hope all is well with you, my friend. Peace, Amy
Paula Scott Molokai Girl Studio
August 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Whew! Pretty intense…on so many levels. Literal and figurative and then some.
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Ah, Paula, so glad you weighed in on this one. Intense? Yeah, and I didn’t see it coming. But that “dirty laundry” stands as a good metaphor, as you point out. Thank you for stopping and leaving these words. Peace, Amy
Pat Hatt
August 22, 2011 at 6:19 pm
hahaha that was a fun write. So strangers really mean dangers to your romantic repertoire..hahaha.
Love the words play too “Cheap soil eradication” was a great line!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 24, 2011 at 2:08 am
Pat, glad you liked this. Ah, Stranger Danger meant something different back in the day, ha ha
Thanks so much for the comment! Headed your way now… Amy
Susannah
August 22, 2011 at 7:38 pm
“Granite jaw, killer slouch.” great line! 🙂
I loved this Amy, it read like a very believable slice of life. Well wordled!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Susannah, that word, “granite,” was the real challenge. Was trying to figure out how I started with “spin” and the laundromat – and then where to go. Then it hit me. The “granite jaw” reference is actually to an old comic I used to write to amuse my cousin, Gregg, at the Great American Food and Beverage Co. in Sta. Monica, CA. The character was named “Eddie Meatcleaver,” and along with the granite jaw and Gil Thorp flattop hair and stubble, he wore a t-shirt that said, for no apparent reason, “Jesus Bowls”! Wow, you just sparked a synapse for me there! Peace, Amy
b_y
August 22, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Clever, Amy. (you didn’t really need the disclaimer)
“don’t do strangers” in the cleansing context makes me think of “I don’t do windows”, much less fun Fridays
Sharp Little Pencil
August 23, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Ha ha, at piano bars, when taking requests, I always said, “I don’t do windows, and I don’t do ‘Feelings’!”
Actually, did need the disclaimer. This could have been me in my 20s. Amazing I survived that era! Peace, Amy
Dana
August 22, 2011 at 11:38 pm
hi! found you over on Poets United. i really love all of this from start to finish, from the structure to the easy rhyme to the descriptions of the stranger, particularly “granite jaw, killer slouch.” xo
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:05 am
Dana, just visited your site. Name of site is quite ironic in some ways, as your crafty poem belies deep meanings… thanks so much for the compliment. Left you another over there… hope to read you again soon! Amy
Renee Espriu
August 23, 2011 at 12:21 am
I hated laundry mats but yours’ sounds a bit fun! I love the way you can weave a story that pulls me in. Thanks!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:07 am
The word “spin” got me started on the laundromat. Then I had to think of some sort of drama to make it interesting. Otherwise, it’s just… dirty laundry (wink). Amy
magicalmysticalteacher
August 23, 2011 at 1:20 am
I have to admit that the last three words caught me off guard!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:12 am
Um…
magicalmysticalteacher
August 23, 2011 at 1:21 am
Considering everything that came before…
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:12 am
Oh, just put the two comments together, yeah, that’s what fun is when you’re, you know, 22. I would not be 22 again if you paid me solid gold coins from the Franklin Mint!! Thx! Amy
Amanda
August 23, 2011 at 4:07 am
“Granite jaw, killer slouch” wow I want to meet him, this was lots of fun to read!
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:14 am
Told someone else phrase was based on a comic I used to draw for fun called Eddie Meatcleaver. Granite jaw, buzz cut, and a t-shirt that said (for no reason) “Jesus Bowls!” Used to crack my cousin up, so it was all for Gregg. Thanks, Amanda! Amy
pmwanken
August 23, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I love the line “my values in a quandary” Amy.
Here’s mine: http://whenwordsescape.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/beauty-from-ashes/
~Paula
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 4:26 am
Thanks, Paula. At first I misspelled the word – yikes! Spellcheck gave me a good spanking! I’m coming over right now… Peace, Amy
Traci B
August 24, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Great poem, Amy! I’ve been acquainted with some people who probably lived that scene once or twice. Your disclaimer at the end made me laugh out loud; funny how fast we are to point out when our grittier pieces are “A WORK OF FICTION,” 😉
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Ha, you got me! It probably was me in my 20s, but I forgot! Truly… I was some lost little number back in the day. But the next one has no such disclaimer, and it’s first person, so…. Amy
nan
August 25, 2011 at 12:51 am
Great imagery. I can practically see the lint in the corners. I did a dead man’s poem in a laudromat once awhile back. I could feel that steamy air and smell the smell of dirt and laundry detergent in dryers. Especially liked this stanza:
Now, in desperation,
I’m at the Rinse ‘n’ Spin
‘til cleansed, my clothes are done.
Sharp Little Pencil
August 25, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Thanks, Nan. Talk about your dirty laundry, huh? I’d love a link to your dead man’s poem if you have a chance, or I’ll just come over and hunt it down myself. Peace, Amy
Mr. Walker
August 25, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Amy, I love “discretion cracked open” – that’s a great line. And I like the ending, where her clothes “are done”, but I’m not sure she feels cleansed yet – or really wants to be. There’s some intriguing ambiguity there. I like it!
Richard
Sharp Little Pencil
August 27, 2011 at 12:38 am
I tried to leave it up to the reader… in my mind, there’s a lot of dirty laundry that’s gonna take more than the laundromat! SO GLAD to see you, Richard! Peace, Amy
Mike
August 25, 2011 at 4:14 pm
It’s amazing just what can get in the way of doing your dirty laundry, or so I’m told!
This was a great use of the wordle words.
A tremendous read and it made me smile.
Well done Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
August 27, 2011 at 1:16 am
Thanks so much, Mike. I really appreciate the fact that you enjoyed this one! Peace, Amy (PS and yes, we all have dirty laundry – you were spot on, there!)
clarioretenebris
September 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Very artfully sung! I have enjoyed reading this one aloud.